An Open Response to Harm Done

It is never easy to know what a good response looks or sounds like. It’s made more complicated by the bounds of confidentiality and not having consent to discuss details openly in a public forum. Recognizing this letter is likely insufficient, we still wanted to respond and outline what we have done, are doing, and are able to do moving forward.
Some weeks ago the Consent Academy received notification about harm incurred during an intervention we mediated some years ago. We attempted to engage, but did not do so as skillfully as we could have. After several exchanges it became clear to us that we were not helping, and may have been making things worse. In accordance with our procedures, we formed a group to review the issue. This letter is the outcome of that process.
We believe and understand harm was done. There’s no response or explanation that can change what happened. As an organization and as the individuals making up that organization, we regret what happened. 
We reviewed the notes and comments left. Through our process we determined that we’re able to meet some, but not all, of the requests made. As an organization there are things outside of our capacity. To address what we can, we offer the following:

1. A meeting to address the consultant who worked on the incident, either one-on-one or with support.
   
2. A meeting with someone else from the Consent Academy, either one-on-one or with support.
   
3. A formal complaint per Consent Academy procedure. We can assign an uninvolved advocate to manage that process.
   
4. Other ideas that might be of help or healing. We are willing to listen. 
   

We also took the feedback as an opportunity to improve our organization. We want to help make sure this negative experience doesn’t happen again. Along with other feedback, we are making the following changes to our practice:

1. When being contacted about an incident, women, trans*, and non-binary folx will, as the first option and where one is available, be offered a comparable advocate. Where that identity is not known ahead of time, and a male advocate makes the initial contact, they will offer to step aside.
   
2. When being contacted about an incident, BIPOC folx, as the first option and where one is available, will be offered a POC advocate. Where that identity is not known ahead of time, and a white advocate makes the initial contact , they will offer to step aside.
   
3. More time will be taken during the initial contact phase of an incident to allow for better processing time and increase capacity towards making an authentic decision.
   
4. Given the delays, confidentiality issues, and ease of misunderstanding we will avoid commenting about any ongoing or past incident on social media. There is too much risk of violating consent or creating more harm. 
   
   1. We will only consent to direct communication via our website, email, letter, live video chat, or in person contact. 
      
   2. Comments or questions made in a social media format, relating to a specific incident or process, will be answered with a current version of the following statement: “We thank you for your interest in consent. Please understand, for reasons of confidentiality and emotional safety, we are not able to respond in a public format about any incidents or issues we have professionally reviewed. If you have comments, additional information, feedback, or specific questions, please contact us through our website: www.consent.academy/contact.html.”
      
5. Recognizing a verbal description is insufficient, a detailed document outlining the following will be given to all participants at the beginning of an incident process:
   
   1. The incident process and expectations for participants. Special focus will be given to a participant’s autonomy to say no to any request, to ask for more time, or to forgo the process entirely.
      
   2. Confidentiality guidelines and limitations. 
      
   3. Outcome possibilities and limitations.
      
   4. Expected length of the process and limits therein.
      
   5. The role, expectations, and limitations of the advocate.
      
6. At this time, and for the foreseeable future, we are halting our personal consulting practice. We are an educational organization and believe that is the best direction to focus our energy. This will create the following changes:
   
   1. Someone contacting us for support, on consent related issues, will be offered a 45 minute chat to look at the needed support and figure out the best way they can get that. This will be done for whatever financial donation the person can afford or believes reasonable.
      
   2. Individuals contacting us for personal consulting or coaching will be referred to an curated list of potential professional resources that can meet their needs.
      
7. We will continue our professional consultation for companies, organizations, groups, or leaders. This will focus on consultation around consent issues, incidents, policy, procedure, and teaching from an education/psychoeducational perspective. 
   
8. We will update and make the pricing structure of consultation more transparent.
   
9. To be more transparent, our website will be updated to include as much of the above information as possible.
   

      *** #s 1-4 have already been implemented. 
      *** We intend to complete #s 5-9 by October 2020. 

We know these changes will not erase the harm experienced. We hope it lets people know that reaching out has and will make a difference. We are committed to taking feedback and making positive change as we are able.
We request everyone reading this respect the confidentiality of all those involved and refrain from asking for specifics or guessing at them. To uphold confidentiality and consent, we are not able to give any identifying details. Beyond that, we firmly believe everyone involved has a right to their privacy and the right to consent, or to withhold consent, to the telling of their story.
We are only posting this in a limited way. We acknowledge our part in what happened and have no wish to cause additional harm or hardship. This letter intends to show the changes we’re making and our process in working through a complicated situation while also living up to our own ethics.
There is certainly more we can do to improve. If there is other feedback or suggestions, please contact us via the website: www.consent.academy/contact.html 

The Consent Academy
August, 2020