A consent violation is an occurrence where someone believes their consent was broken or a set boundary was crossed. Only the person who experienced harm within the event gets to decide if their consent was violated.

If you have experienced a consent violation, we have resources below that can help.
If you have been accused of a consent violation, or are responsible for harm, we also have resources that can help. 
​If you would like to speak to a consent advocate for peer emotional support and a more tailored recommendation of resources, please reach out. 
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Lastly, please note that most, but not all, of the resources below are directed to those living in the US.
​If you have suggestions or resources to add to this page, please reach out.

My Consent Has Been Violated - What Now?

First, it's important to recognize that no matter what, no one deserves to have their consent violated in any way.
If you've experienced harm, you deserve safety and support, not blame or shame.

In the immediate aftermath, we recommend getting to a safe place and/or calling for help.
Food, water, a warm blanket, breathing exercises, and/or movement like shaking or rocking may be helpful for moving through an acute trauma response (you may be experiencing physical symptoms and accompanying emotions like shock, numbness, anger, sadness, confusion, or something else entirely - trauma responses can present in a variety of ways).

Once you feel calmer and more grounded, consider reaching out to a consent advocate or to one of the resources below for help figuring out what to do next. Do keep in mind you don't have to do anything though - it's not ok for anyone to pressure you into taking action you don't fully consent to. Your only responsibility is to take care of yourself. We also have resources for long-term healing from trauma - because you shouldn't have to do it alone. 

Sexual Violence Resources (sexual abuse, assault, & harassment):

Domestic Violence Resources (physical, emotional, verbal, financial, digital, and/or sexual abuse):

Bullying and Harassment Resources:

Crisis Resources (if your life is in immediate danger, call 911 or emergency services):

Resources for Healing from Trauma

Other Resources:

Articles:

Books:

I Have Been Accused of /
​I am Responsible for
​a Consent Violation - What Now?

Immediately after you have been accused or learned that you have caused harm, you may experience a stress or trauma response (physical symptoms and accompanying emotions like shock, numbness, anger, sadness, confusion, or something else entirely - stress and trauma responses can present in a variety of ways). You may want to immediately defend yourself, tell your side of the story, or point out what you identify as inaccuracies in the other party's version of events. We recommend that you not do any of that, and instead, if appropriate in the context, thank the person for telling you and ask for time and space to process this information. Then you may want some food, water, a warm blanket, to do some breathing exercises, and/or engage in movement like shaking or rocking - all things that may be helpful for moving through a stress or trauma response.  

Once you feel calmer and more grounded, consider reaching out to a consent advocate or to one of the resources below for help figuring out what to do next. If you identify as a man, we highly recommend reaching out to our official accountability partner, Mischa Byruck at Evolve.Men. If you mention that you were referred to him through Consent Academy, you will receive a special free coaching session in addition to a typical discovery session.

Even though you may be feeling shame, you still deserve support processing your emotions and taking accountability if needed. Accountability is a skill that is learned, and there are many reasons why it can be difficult, but it is essential to healthy relationships with others and with ourselves. You can learn these skills, put them into practice, and grow from this experience.

Find Support and Learn More:

Articles:

Books:

Crisis Resources (if your life is in immediate danger, call 911 or emergency services):